Saturday, August 27, 2011


Director: Alejandre Aja

Rated: R

Sony: January 11, 2011

88 Minutes
From IMDb:
After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm going to be giving this movie a higher rating. Not that I think it was incredible, not that I loved it, and not that it wasn't awesome. It's just that...I feel like it's a ripoff. I feel like they took 'Jaws' and made it into a movie filled with ass, titties, and piranha. Now, that's not to say it wasn't good, it was. And it was made perfectly for the audience it was aimed for. I mean, what guy wouldn't love to see that many boobs in a 60 minute span. Throw in a little lesbian action, naked underwater swimming, and blood and gore into the mix, and you have to making of an amazing film for (nearly) any man aged 18 or older. Ahh but let's not forget our female viewers. With the developing love story it holds appeal to almost any girl. Therefore, it reaches both sexes of it's targeted audience.

'Piranha' tells the story of a teenage boy (I think?) and his family...and his "love" interest. Let's show the 'Jaws' comparisons shall we? He's from a small town, check. His mom is the sheriff, check. Ton of people show up at one point in the year, therefore creating an eating frenzy of epic proportions for any underwater meat eater, check. Fish expert, check. Mysterious underwater killer, check. Shall I continue? While the numerous amount of similarities between 'Jaws' and 'Piranha' to me seem endless, that's not to say they are exactly the same. Although I think almost all the Jaws movies can be summed up into this one 'Piranha' movie. Ok, so, there is an underwater earthquake caused by a beer bottle, thus letting out thousands of Piranha's who then feast on the College Students who came down for Spring Break to Lake Victoria. Check, check, check...ugh!

Anyways, despite my bitching, I really did enjoy at least half of this movie. I mean, it's got some of my favorite 80's actors in it; Elisabeth Shue, 'Adventures in Babysitting,' Christopher Lloyd 'Back to the Future,' and let's not forget Richard Dreyfuss 'Jaws.' See, 'Jaws' again. My favorite scene, hands down, was the bloody massacre when the Sheriff tries, relentlessly, to get the kids out of the water. Awesome! Although, after the first scene where the Piranha's kill someone I was kind of like, Oh god! But it definitely got better. So, the bloody awesomeness that is now being dubbed 'The Piranha Massacre' made me give this movie one point up from what I was going to.

My Rating: 4/5

I was fortunate (or unfortunate...?) to have seen this in the theatre when it came out. 3D I believe "saved" this movie from being a total flop. As my fellow reviewer stated the Jaws comparisons are many and she listed most of them. I had seen the preview before it was in the theatres, from a "comic-con" event. Like Ginger stated, ass, titties and sharp-tooth fish occupy most of the 88 minutes.
I will admit, the 3D in some parts were really cool. I smiled and thought it was cool to see Richard Dreyfuss' cameo. I found it awfully strange to watch Jerry O'Connell from tv's 'My Secret Identity' as a porn director...who loses an important appendage to a hungry fish.
I honestly can't think of anything else to add to this review except the part when they were shooting the fish, and using boat motor propellers to fend off the fish just made me laugh, thinking to myself.. I paid "how much" to see this???

Not to spoil the ending for those who have not seen it yet..but let's just say there could be a Piranha 2 in the future if they wanted to.

I have to give this movie a 3/5.

Bidding you bloody nightmares,


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