Copperhead

Director: Todor Chapkanov

Sci-Fi Pictures (TV-NR) 2008 90mins.

From IMDb:Small town in the Wild West is attacked by poisonous snakes. 

Have you ever been driving down the highway and see a car accident, and regardless of how bad it may be, you just can't turn away? Well, tonight, this happened when I was watching this Sci Fi Original Movie.

I have never been one for westerns or snakes, and this movie combined the both,and terribly. We've all heard of spaghetti westerns, well this was snake western. Within the first 15 minutes, it was pretty clear this movie was going to be a flop. The cartoonish, computerized snake that you see early on in the movie gave you an indication what the rest was going to be like.

Set in a small town in Texas, a drifter arrives and goes into the saloon. He plays a couple hands of poker, gets accused of cheating and then is challenged to a gun fight at high noon. The main character in the movie played by Brad Johnson warns everyone that hundreds of copperhead snakes are heading in their direction and by evening they all will be dead. Well, a good 45 minutes into the movie, it appears that the drifter was right, the snakes invade. Of course, people are trying to kill the snakes with guns and fire but they are overrun by them.

I found myself laughing at this sad excuse for a movie. This was set in a small town during the civil war in Texas. The teacher and her students get locked in a huge bank safe. I have to say the teacher's Irish accent was just silly. The blacksmith, who had this cool machine gun apparatus had the best Australian accent. The rest of the cast, was a cross between English and Texan.

Fast forward a bit, and just when you think they have shot every snake around...they realize that all the ones they killed are just babies. Sure enough, out of the ground, like a flashback to the movie Tremors, a huge 40 foot copperhead comes flying out of the ground. It was a Godzilla size snake, and they all start attacking it with arrows. Finally, the main character uses a large knife and as the snake is coming down from the sky towards him, he fatally hits him. It was good timing too, cause just as the crooked sheriff comes walking out, the snake falls over and squishes him dead.

This is a prime example of a trainwreck gone bad. I have no idea if this was meant to be a horror, drama, action or comedy. There were a lot of comedic lines in the movie such as this one: "..hotter than nickel night at the whore house". I mean, come on, what was the writer, producer and director thinking..and how could they find people to act in this. It was so bad, yet, I couldn't turn it off.

I've been harsh on the ratings for the last few movies I've reviewed, and unfortunately I cannot bring myself to even rate this, that's how bad it is. I suppose if you are really bored, and want to waste 90 minutes of your life, then this is the movie for you. But this reviewer has to give it a pass...and rate this 0/5.

Bidding you bloody nightmares,

Nyx