Thursday, September 8, 2011

Shark Night 3D

Director:  David R. Ellis

Incentive Filmed Entertainment

PG-13 - 2011 - 91 mins

From IMDb:  A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to fresh-water shark attacks.

Do we really need another shark movie? Despite the 3D technology, the movie is still like a fish out of water...a flop.

I find myself comparing all these shark movies to the King of all shark movies - Jaws. As more and more shark movies come out, they still go back and "borrow" from Jaws. Scantily clad pretty ladies getting chomped on, water-skier's getting attacked, boats getting attacked and always one or two hereos at the end who kill the monster beast. 
The first attack happens early in the movie with a girl in shallow water, bouncing around with the gratuitousness ass shot. The shark silently appears from under the water and attacks her and that's all she wrote.
It then flashes forward to an university campus and next thing you know, they are piling into a truck to head to an island for some "sex, music, drinking, etc". 
I have to say the dialogue in this movie is not stellar, and even the storyline is quite routine. By the time the real action starts, I found it to be a waste of time, yet like other trainwreck movies, it's just so damn hard to turn off. First we have a sheriff who knows the young pretty blonde who owns the resort on the island. They offer him a beer, he chugs one and gets back in the boat and "goes back to work". Then the big strong male athlete is boarding, flipping in the air and gets attacked...he loses an arm. Another boy jumps back into the water to retrieve the arm, and while doing that, discovers the shark. They race to the dock and of course makes it just in the nick of time. They then pile into the boat for a 2 hr ride to the nearest hospital, separated arm wrapped in a blanket. Along the way, the blood seeping through the drain in the boat, entices the shark who then attacks them and eats the dude's girlfriend.
I had to laugh at some parts, with the same dude who lost his arm, trying to attack the shark with one arm, with a spear. With help from another friend, they manage to kill the shark and notice a camera is attached to it. 
Long story short, 3 of the locals have a twisted thought that if they film these shark attacks they can sell their movies to "Shark Week" and make lots of money. Even the local drunk sheriff is in on it. 
I won't give more of the story away, but people, save your money till this comes out on video. It's very disappointing, despite the 3D, bad storyline, and the fact they are sacrificing people to tiger sharks, cookie cutter sharks's just a bad movie. I don't understand in this day and age, with the amount of technology available, no one has yet been able to make a quality movie that stands up to Jaws. 
I will finish this review, with saying, one of the best parts is at the very end...involving a shark flying out of the water!

Overall, I need to rate this movie 3/5...and that might even be too high of a rating.

Bidding you bloody nightmares,


  1. Okay, I might be a total dork, but I actually liked Jaws 3D. Looks cool.

  2. The original Jaws 3D, I actually liked:) So, you're not a dork alone!
    I've just had a hard time "liking" the newer shark movies. I just compare it to Jaws, and the lack of technology back in the 70's, yet they managed to make a kick ass movie.
    ~ Nyx

  3. Dang really i was actually looking forward to wacthing this movie it seemed like it wud be scary but i mean i still will and all. You its still ming boggling me to me movies back in the day are more scary than current movies i mean we r more technologically advanced it just doesnt make any sense!

    By the way i just mentioned you in my blog post and passed on the "iDig your blog" award to you cas i really do dig your blog do check it out:

  4. Thanks Pixie.
    You are very right about the movies back in the day being scarier. I remember watching the original 'Hallowe'en', and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'...and now, when they have re-released them, they are not scary at all. I will check out your blog for sure! Thanks so much for the support. ~Nyx